Amber Alert!
CHILD ABDUCTED
GY 1999 LEXUS
NY ↑CCR2225
As traffic crawled up the Meadowbrook Parkway on a sultry Sunday afternoon, I noticed the above on the warning sign overhead. At first I thought, "That sounds like my license plate!" Then I thought, "If the child was abducted anywhere around Roosevelt Field Mall, the abductor couldn't have gotten very far...look at this traffic! Oh how Long Island unites to save its children!" Then, after I followed the warnings across the county line (unsurprisingly, the "Sign Under Contstruction" near Douglaston Parkway remained blank), into New York city (out of curiosity), I thought about what might happen if I were to call and report a sighting:
Me: "Hi. Is this e-911?"
e911: "Hello, 911 Emergency. What is the nature of the emergency?"
Me: "I think I see the grey 1999 Lexus. What an ugly car!"
e911: "Are you referring to our Amber Alert, sir? What is your location?"
Me: "Of course Amber! Don't you know where I am? Isn't that why we put the e in 911?"
e911: "OK. Can you confirm that you're on the Long Island Expressway at Francis Lewis Boulevard?"
Me: "Yes! Attack!"
e911: "Please refrain from incindiary commentary, sir. Are you calling from a cellphone?"
Me: "Of coruse I am!"
e911: "Are you using it hands-free?"
Me: "Oh shit."
::throws phone across car, looks out for police::
Maybe it's for the best that I didn't find the car...
Concerned, excited, but also having to pee, I gave up the hunt and left it to my fellow motorists to save the abducted child.
GY 1999 LEXUS
NY ↑CCR2225
As traffic crawled up the Meadowbrook Parkway on a sultry Sunday afternoon, I noticed the above on the warning sign overhead. At first I thought, "That sounds like my license plate!" Then I thought, "If the child was abducted anywhere around Roosevelt Field Mall, the abductor couldn't have gotten very far...look at this traffic! Oh how Long Island unites to save its children!" Then, after I followed the warnings across the county line (unsurprisingly, the "Sign Under Contstruction" near Douglaston Parkway remained blank), into New York city (out of curiosity), I thought about what might happen if I were to call and report a sighting:
Me: "Hi. Is this e-911?"
e911: "Hello, 911 Emergency. What is the nature of the emergency?"
Me: "I think I see the grey 1999 Lexus. What an ugly car!"
e911: "Are you referring to our Amber Alert, sir? What is your location?"
Me: "Of course Amber! Don't you know where I am? Isn't that why we put the e in 911?"
e911: "OK. Can you confirm that you're on the Long Island Expressway at Francis Lewis Boulevard?"
Me: "Yes! Attack!"
e911: "Please refrain from incindiary commentary, sir. Are you calling from a cellphone?"
Me: "Of coruse I am!"
e911: "Are you using it hands-free?"
Me: "Oh shit."
::throws phone across car, looks out for police::
Maybe it's for the best that I didn't find the car...
Concerned, excited, but also having to pee, I gave up the hunt and left it to my fellow motorists to save the abducted child.
posted by Matty at 4:07 PM
2 Comments:
Actually, it's okay to hand-hold the phone if you're calling 911. So you're fine if you spot the car and need to call in. 911 calls are an exception in the law.
That's good to know!
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